Elite Boutique in Tech Hub (Not Fayetteville BTW)
I'm a freshman at UT Austin and recently applied for an internship at an elite middle market boutique focused on tech-enabled businesses (BTW Haven't updated their logo for pride month yet). BTW I'm in McCombs. To my disappointment I was rejected and the job was given to some junior who had a BB in Houston lined up the next summer. I bet that douchebag was in a fraternity and his dad was a lawyer in Houston. I hope he rots in oil & gas while I go on to do great things in a tech hub like Chattanooga, Wilmington, or Sarasota (Think Evercore/Qatalyst/Centerview). Little does he know oil can't stay at $100 bbl forever. I'm from Fresno (moderate tech-hub) and I never go to Houston as there are way too many cowboy boots, Astros caps, and slightly overweight college students back home for summer wearing khaki shorts, Kappa shirts, and flip flops or onclouds. I bet they're all Econ majors.
I'm currently in 7 finance orgs at McCombs and sit on the executive board for 4 of them (btw I'm only a freshman). This is absolutely Ludacris. I've mastered what EBITDA is and know that recurring revenue is essential and a key drive for SaaS valuations. Not to mention the guy who interviewed me at FA was a complete suslord. He was "Canadian" and his LinkedIn profile looked nothing like him. He didn't even attend a super-mega-ultra-target school, (Think Waterloo, McGill, and Queen's) The analyst came into the interview 10 minutes late and told me he was taking a nap in a closet. This bank is an absolute sweatshop and I need to be there. The other Associate's "wife was pregnant" and was out of the office during my interview because he was "having a kid". The intern that let me down the elevator told me the Associate was faking having a kid and just needed a break from prospecting. I've already been prepping for my Wall Street For McCombs and Investment Banking Associations interviews next fall and I need this to leverage me to get a spot. This is the only way I can have Incoming Summer Analyst '24 on my LinkedIn at hopefully a tech hub like Chattanooga.
They told me I should apply again in the fall for the spring semester, but there's no way I can juggle recruiting, interning, and advising the new members of all my investment orgs. Maybe I'm happy I didn't get it as it's unpaid and I saw thirty chick fil a bags piled up in the analysts room. Not to mention I saw an intern put the "Canadian" in a complete headlock. The "Canadian" turned around and shot him in the leg with the Duck Camp shotgun under his desk. The MD didn't even care because he had been delivering newspapers at 5am since he was 11 years old.
What's comp/WLB/exit opps like? Also, everyone knows the top "Canadian" target school is Ivey (literally half of Bay Street and the "Canadian" BB went there). Need to know that if you ever want to work at CPPIB or OTPP (big PP is paradise).
Not sure about comp, the FOF is always changing. WLB is great, but the intern that let me down the elevator told me he ate Newk's 6 days in a row. There are no exit opps, they only hire bankers for life. However, the "Canadian" kept saying he was also a slumlord and owned property in Northern Canada. I feel like he might quit soon and live in igloos with his eskimo friends. Only "Canadian" bank I know is RBC but am looking into PE shops along the Hudson River.
I'm fairly certain comp is a free-trial for Peloton membership, and buy one get one free tacos on Tuesday. Also heard that this group consistently furnishes alcohol to underage interns, often making them consume beer/seltzer in a "shotgun" manner. Disgusting.
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