How to look older to get a higher position at a young age

Hey WSO,

I have an unexpected interview coming up for a director level position. I am right on the border of what they are looking for as far as experience.

Throughout my career I have been told I look young. Just the other day someone said I am the youngest on my team (I am not).

I clean shave everyday. I wear nice clothes and shoes, am 6'2" with an athletic build (190 lbs 9% body fat). I feel like my voice sounds young (as in 25-26, not 18 and not 35).

I know the easiest answer is to grow some sort of facial hair, but I have never in my life left it for more than three days and do not even know where to start.

Anyone else ever in a similar situation? Anyone land director positions at a young age? How did you overcome the age issue?

 

Color your hair gray and wrinkle your face from now until then to get some crows feet going near your eyes.

Or don't worry about it, concentrate on kicking ass in the interview and sound confident and authoritative in your speech and how you hold yourself. And don't use speech fillers such as "like" and "you know" that younger people tend to use. And appreciate it if you look young and actually are the youngest person in the room. I advanced career wise pretty quickly and was always the youngest person in the room and then suddenly I wasn't and it sucked when I realized I was the old guy.

 

"I know the easiest answer is to grow some sort of facial hair, but I have never in my life left it for more than three days and do not even know where to start."

You don't know where to start when it comes to growing a beard? How about you just stop shaving? Growing a beard is not exactly a complex process. I worry that if you don't know very simple things such as growing a beard, you may not meet all of the hiring criteria for a director level position.

Just a thought.

 
Best Response

It's more about how you carry yourself than how you look. Be confident, calm, and speak with precision. Be succinct and knowledgeable. Be at ease in your own skin. That will carry the day. At its core, your interview is you selling the vision of yourself in that role. Make that vision really compelling.

If you do want to game the mechanics, read up on how to speak with a deeper voice: - https://www.quora.com/Is-it-possible-to-develop-a-deeper-voice - http://www.artofmanliness.com/2011/11/13/masculine-voice/ -

I am permanently behind on PMs, it's not personal.
 

I would contradict the previous post, as I've found many people who are looking to break into the analyst position but who are older are often asked if they can keep up with 22 year olds. So may be a disadvantage for breaking in, but once you have the spot perhaps it does help you avoid the menial tasks

 

true point about the keeping up bit, perhaps that matters more for FO then ops which I was working in. I think on some psycological perhaps others feel embarrased asking someone to do menial work or to make the tea if they think gosh this dude could be older then me. It really helped that my voice sounds older too. I was regularly working with ops guys in hedge funds and stuff, and I never implicilty told them an intern (hey if they dont ask) (even removed it from my email signature...) and they definatly respond to you a lot better. Most people thought I had been doing that stint for ages. Perhaps its worth just trying to devlop a more mature/older phone voice at least dont think it can hurt.

 

Yes, looking older does help - a lot! Nobody wants to work with a kid that can't be trusted and has no experience. Looking older makes people think you've been around for some time, you know things, and you'll do better. But don't get into that too much because you'll get older anyway, long term is better to take care of yourself and take care of your health, hit the gym, eat healthy...

 

You're an idiot

“The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger--but recognize the opportunity.”
 

facial hair and shorter hair on top

Don't sleep as often so you get wrinkles quicker and baggy eyes.

Frank Sinatra - "Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy."
 
yeahright:

facial hair and shorter hair on top

Don't sleep as often so you get wrinkles quicker and baggy eyes.

I have facial hair with the exception of interview days. After I got a short hair cut a contractor asked me if I owned the place when I was at my parents' house, which is way too big for a college student to afford. That is an improvement! However, young women still ask me what I am studying.

"He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man." ― William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing
 

Also, how short is too short? Is an almost shaved head ok?

"He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man." ― William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing
 
Macro Arbitrage:

I don't sleep much and I still have a baby face which is great because people set the bar lower than appropriate, making it easier to exceed expectations. Facial hair is definitely transformative but you could wind up looking like a homeless person.

That's why I go with a well trimmed Van Dyke beard. However, it does take a lot of work to maintain.

"He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man." ― William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing
 
Macro <span class=keyword_link><a href=/resources/skills/trading-investing/arbitrage target=_blank>Arbitrage</a></span>:

I don't sleep much and I still have a baby face which is great because people set the bar lower than appropriate, making it easier to exceed expectations. Facial hair is definitely transformative but you could wind up looking like a homeless person.

What is best facial hair style for looking the oldest.

"He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man." ― William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing
 

The way you carry yourself will offset some of your appearance. Dress like an adult. Here's the breakdown of how people react to each other: 70% how you look 25% how you sound 5% what you're actually saying

Look at it this way, when you enter your 30's you can still hang out with 20 year old chicks and they won't know the difference. That's what I do.

Get busy living
 

Why is this an issue? Use it to your advantage. People think young = stupid. It's your opportunity to surprise them.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 

@"DM", another way of looking at it is that people might have problems getting rid of preconceived notions (stereotypes). Malcolm Gladwell discusses this in "Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking."

"He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man." ― William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing
 
D M:

Why is this an issue? Use it to your advantage. People think young = stupid. It's your opportunity to surprise them.

The issue is that people often form first impressions before you have an opportunity to prove yourself and these first impressions can be hard to get past.

I feel your pain, OP. I have a baby face and people automatically assume I'm just some young kid.

 
Silent Guardian:
what can I do to look older.
Shave the top of your head and leave it regular length on the sides. It will make you appear to be balding. You can't just shave your head because then you'll just look like a guy who shaves his head. That'd be crazy. Just make sure to shave the top every day or use Nair hair removal cream in the targeted area. Also, consider eating a lot of junk food and beer to get a little beer belly to complement the balding effect.

Problem solved. You're welcome.

 

@bic - If anything, you should lie and say you ARE 29. We love older guys haha

@SilentGuardian - I feel your pain. But at least you don't get stopped in airport security and asked where your parents are.....

 
ZonedOut:
You're lucky you're a girl...... try being a man while looking like a 16 year old.

I'm a guy who's 22 years old and 5'6, when I shave and keep my hair short I look like I'm 16...and I've had no problems in the workplace. It's all about how you carry yourself. If you let people treat you like a kid, then they will. I can't speak for girls, but if you're a guy, carry yourself like a man, and others will treat you like one. I feel like every time I go into an interview with a BSD I am fortunate enough to shatter their expectations of my professionalism, and it almost always turns into a positive experience. My point is, don't let how you look hold you back - because it will become a crutch, and you will begin to resent yourself for it. That's when eating disorders and plastic surgery take hold in your mind.

 

Daaaaaaaaaaamn. Nothing wrong with that. That is all.

“...all truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.” - Schopenhauer
 

I'm in the same boat, ~30 with greying hair on the sides. I trim them a bit, but don't give them much thought really. Girls don't mind. I'm not going to die my hair even if they did.

Looking older definitely helps with your career. People are mentally prepared to pay you more and take you more seriously. I have friends who wear glasses even though they have 20/20 vision and act / dress 10 years older than they are. It makes a difference, but less so in the US and less so as you progress in your 30s. The grey hair look can work well. Check out Bill Ackeman of Perishing Square.

I'd say, relax and enjoy your youth.

 
UFOinsider:
Older people get laid off more, this is bullshit.
well starting at what age? big difference in looking 50ish (where I imagine people start getting laid off?) but instead going from looking mid-late 20's to looking mid-late 30s i imagine could make a big difference, and looking more as if you are in the prime career age (ie best mix of expertise w/ energy/motivation)
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re: your original post Chill, girls don't mind and it's very easy to tell when men dye their hair because it just looks weird, so you wouldn't be making it any better. Even more, gray hairs in men are hot.

Embrace and age gracefully, what else is there to do? Pretend you are 17 forever?... sad.

(Chic advice 101)

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to death your right to say it" - Voltaire
 
zira:
re: your original post Chill, girls don't mind and it's very easy to tell when men dye their hair because it just looks weird, so you wouldn't be making it any better. Even more, gray hairs in men are hot.

Embrace and age gracefully, what else is there to do? Pretend you are 17 forever?... sad.

(Chic advice 101)

"easy to tell when men dye their hair", really? An older man sure I could see, but a 30something guy you'd never suspect it.

re: "gray hairs in men are hot." hope all women agree with you :)

What is the answer to 99 out of 100 questions?
 

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"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 

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Get it!
 

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