🚨 NEED HELP WITH BANK CHOICE

Hi everyone, need help with a choice for my full time offer. Some context:I recently landed offers at an EB (PJT/CVP/JEFF) and a top BB (GS/MS/RBC) and am struggling on which one to take. Some background on myself, I attend a top target (Harvard/Princeton/NYU) and completed a top internship last summer (Apollo valuations/Point 72 Summer Analyst/Morgan Stanley Wealth Management) as well as play a top sport (basketball/football/cricket). I also have a top girlfriend (ass/tits/transgender) and live in a top city (NYC/LA/Atlanta). I also have a top haircut and top fashion. Most importantly, I have also completed a top program (GS summer insight series participant). At the EB I landed a top product group (M&A/RX/ECM) and at the BB I landed a top coverage group (TMT/HC/Natural resources). Really looking forward to hearing everyone's thoughts. Thanks.

 

That has got to be one of the saddest troll attempts I’ve seen here. I don’t even have the energy to MS you

 

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