Struggling with offer decision

Currently about 8 weeks into my IB summer analyst role at a decent MM bank and really struggling with deciding if it’s worth coming back. I had a mid summer review a few weeks ago and it went very well, so I think there is a good chance I get a return offer. I have been feeling incredibly anxious and indecisive about what to do if this ends up being the case.

For context, I have more or less enjoyed the work and would like to stay in banking for at least a year or two after graduating, but unfortunately the group I am in just has not been a good fit for me. The culture is pretty terrible. Hardly anyone talks throughout the day, the first years are constantly disrespected by associates, and there is barely any “team” dynamic. I recently walked into the bathroom and found one of the analysts visibly upset over some very out of pocket remarks that were made from an associate. Deal flow is also pretty terrible as the group is going through a big transition period, so it’s not like I would be getting good transaction experience here either. On top of this, the location is just not where I want to be. I am from the midwest and all of my friends/family/long term GF are in the midwest so I would really like to be in that region after graduation. I would frankly dread coming back here if I accepted a return.

Most networking calls for midwest banks typically end with “Not sure what our full time hiring, if any, is going to be”. And FT hiring timelines that have been given to me occur after my offer would expire. I don’t think I have it in me to reneg, as my group has a few alumni from my school and friends have told me that my school is pretty strict about students reneging on offers. That’s left me with a huge dilemma about whether or not it’s worth the risk to let my offer expire in hopes of finding a midwest bank that is interested in me.

I know a bird in hand is worth more than two in the bush, and that the easy advice is to just suck it up and take the offer, but I just don’t feel right about it. I know it would likely lead to major deterioration in my relationship and at the end of the day I don’t value IB more than the happiness that i get from that. I also understand that it’s a huge risk in this market to pass up on a FT job with nothing officially lined up.

With all that being said, does anyone have any insight/advice on this? Or has anyone else gone through a situation similar? Is it worth the risk or am I being naive? Would really appreciate any thoughts on my situation.

 
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