How to turn off trading mentality outside of work? Unable to socially fit outside the trading floor

Just curious - how old are you? When you say 'the past 7 years' - I assume you mean 4 years of college and 3 years of FT trading on the desk, right? So you're a 3rd year trader now?

As much as it sucks to hear, the only answer is to put yourself out there more. I too used to be a social autist, but I changed that by simply exposing myself to more and more social situations. Take it in baby steps though. Trying chatting with people in low-risk situations first, IE: cashiers, baristas, people in elevators. Once you get comfortable doing this, expand to more difficult places, maybe approaching someone on the street to give a compliment on their shoes (don't be weird about this) or asking for a restaurant rec. Once you master this, move onto the actual high value situations, like approaching a girl in a bar, grocery store, etc. Again, all baby steps. 

Also, make yourself attractive. This is key for social acceptance. Once I put on some muscle, dressed and groomed myself well, and did all the "little things" suddenly way more people wanted to be my friend. It is truly night and day. 

I used to be insanely awkward, now I feel like I can charm just about anyone. You got this man, just take baby steps.

We’re you normal before or lost it or kinda nah?

If you get out there to meet people but still all you do is work, you will only have work as a topic of conversation.

Find yourself a hobby. Read books, watch movies. That will give you more breadth and make you more interesting and relatable.

As mentioned, pickup hobbies and things you like to do outside work. You truly need to meet more people. Many of us have SOs who are also intense and tell us to stfu about work and put on reality tv. While other times hear out what is going on. 

Very likely a serious partner is going to have to be somewhat wired the same way as you and passionate about what they do. If you just want to have fun, think of it as a challenge to just totally shut it down and ask her about her life mostly.

Branch out and do fun things alone. Meet people through those activities. Only then try to find a girl. You will be much more interesting and desirable if you’ve gotten your social life back. And you’re fairly likely to meet a girl through friends and hobbies, too.

Sounds like you’ve grinded to a good spot and you can take back your life a little after work. Do you work after market hours?

First of all, I don't want to be a jerk, but if you are asking for social advice in this website, you are very probably a bit autistic, which is nothing inherently bad in itself.

As previously said, put yourself out there more and take up hobbies - do not stay in your comfortable zone. Try talking to people as much as you can, especially with people you don't know, but always reading the room. Examples of this could be talking to people on the underground (have met really interesting people this way) or in the gym (here also say that you are new to town or something and be honest sharing that you don't know many people outside of work yet, in a non depressing way), gym guys who are still trying to figure things out for themselves will 100% want to talk to you about being a trader - I would.

It is also important to realise that there are so many people out there who feel lonely, especially in our industry. Some might be socially autistic (btw I know quite a few people like this who still have friends/gf) and some might be new to this town/country and are just struggling to get their social life started (especially those who grinded and do not come from wealthy environments, where they are very very few people from their background who got good jobs in cities like NYC/LDN - from my experience, only people from rich families in foreign countries have international friends who have good jobs here, early in their careers). Thus, others are much more receptive than you think on meeting new people, sometimes it just takes you to be more fun than them being alone.

As someone who is somewhat socially autistic as well (I mean I am in this website), and who comes from a small town in a different country, what helped me was to care less about what others might think of you (outside of business), because the truth is that no one cares or has ever cared - don't listen to me, listen to this guy who sold his business for $2.4 bn

This + trying to be a bit more in the asking part of the conversation (shows interest in the other person) really helped me. If you can't yet add much outside of work, let the other person do so (I also really enjoy talking about the markets but I am aware that 98% of people do not).

What also helped me to start relationships was having something in common with the other person, especially if we are both from the same country or have the same mother tongue. If you do not have this, it is another big reason why hobbies are important.

And hype yourself up - you need to believe you can do it in order to meet new people and make friends.

My final tip would be to hit up any old friends you might have, maybe send them a meme where you can justify that it somewhat reminds you of them, and after you exchange some words, offer to talk over a beer (always try to keep in touch) and to see this other useful thread https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forum/investment-banking/i-finally-made…

Best of luck and go outside

sounds like you are just addicted to gambling

Unlike you, I can't even make simple conversations in real life.

invest in things that appreciate in value (skills, specific knowledge, businesses etc) and rent things that depreciate in value (boats, condos etc). same goes with beauty too

just try to get to know people when you meet them and dont disregard someone because they arent a quant/developer/etc

i work as a developer and am kind of the same way but im in my 30s. just relax a bit.

Have always wondered how trading MDs pre-dating apps got GFs/wives...